Dear mall security guard creeper on the subway,

If I am trying to sleep or am in the middle of (obviously) studying from my text, do not interrupt me to ask if I am in business school. And when I say that I'm not, do not proceed to ask what I'm studying, what year I'm in, where I go to school, or how I'm enjoying it. Nor should you begin to show me your St. George signet ring and reminisce about your old professor who fought in the war, later became a teacher, and after his 10 hour workday, would go home to sew tents for 4 hours, I don't care.

So when I look down at my book again, it means just that, I don't care. And when I stand up to get off the subway, don't keep talking, it means I'm trying not to listen, and I'm trying my best to run away.

Unfortunately you take the same bus as me, but thank god you got the clue when I immediately looked away when seeing you at my stop. Too bad for that teenage girl you sat beside, she'll never be the same.

Oh, and if this is to happen again? (which it won't) I will not hesitate to pull out my Muay Thai on you.

Sincerely,

me